I’ve been posting like a complete lazy ass lately, so I will now make up for that with a long post full of all kinds of shit. Shit like lists of links. Lists of links means I am not lazy.

Pale Horse Design (fka Blackout Creations) is kicking off a new wave of shows with The Second Coming, a Four Horseman inspired show featuring 30+ artists. That Chris Parks sure is a clever one, pale horse was the fourth of the horsemen. Wait, either he’s clever or he’s into “horseplay.” Eww.

The opening reception is Saturday, March 15th from 8:00 - 11:00 pm. Pale Horse sits right where Blackout was at Central and MLK (follow the loud music and tattooed hipsters). Get there early because the drinks are free, but they usually go pretty fast. If you miss the reception you can still stop by and check the art out until March 29th - be sure to harass Chris while you’re there.

The show promises to be another great reason to actually go downtown on a Saturday night. If you’re bored and you want to check out all the artists that will be showing, be my guest! They are as follows:

• 0 Comments

I know I mentioned the art show at Nova535, but I’m going to have to go back on my word. If you want class, society, culture, etc. feel free to go ahead and hit up the show. If you want horror, gore, exploitation, and “the most shocking film ever made,” join me at the Gasparilla Film Festival at Channelside for a screening of Blood Feast presented by director Herschell Gordon Lewis and producer David F. Friedman.

You’re going to have to drop $15 to get in, but trust me, it’ll be worth every penny. This has long been considered one of the first splatter films, and is a must see for kids of all ages - bring the little ones! Buy your tickets now, guys and ghouls.

• 2 Comments

Technically it kicks off Thursday if you’re into seeing the Candy Bars cover Cat Power’s Moon Pix album. Personally that just confuses the shit out of me, considering Cat Power actually did a cover record and now someone else is covering a 10 year old original Cat Power record. Either way, fun should be had by all! Thursday, February 28th, 8 pm, Push Ultra Lounge, get ur tickets.

As you long time readers already know, the Splog is sponsored by both Red Bull (gives you wings®) and local band Auto!Automatic!! As part of the latter deal we agree to promote every A!A!! show, and as such we are pleased to announce that this Friday, February 29th you can catch the boys along with Red Room Cinema and City of Ships kicking off at 9 pm (converted to aes time that’s 11 pm) at the Crowbar. Bring $7, or a hot chick to sweet talk the doorfolk.

But wait, there’s more! Saturday night, March 1, at the newly opened Nova535 you can check out some dope art for Free.99 (get there before 9 to get in free, after 9 it is $10). All of the work is female portraiture and I’m particularly looking forward to seeing Eric Jones (mmm, nekkid chicks), Andrea Heimer (mmm, 50’s and 60’s chicks), and Daniel P. Williams (mmm, slow loading website chicks).

It is pretty awesome to sit back and realize that 2 of those 3 are taking place in the ‘burg. Thanks Joel. Thanks whoever owns Nova. Thanks loyal readers of the Splog. This adds at least 3 days until the authors of this blog get that long overdue DUI.

• 4 Comments

That’s right; Early Day Miners are back in town for a show. That can only mean one thing - that you need to get your ass down to New World Brewery this Friday to have the aforementioned ass get rocked. I mean, you know, rocked kind of gently and without vocals for the most part, but rocked nonetheless. But wait; there’s more. The show also includes a ton of local awesome from Petrograd in Transit, When Tides Collide and, wait for it, Wade Tatangelo’s favorite band, Zillionaire. Zillionaire’s new record just got a 6.8 in Pitchfork. Not bad for a bunch of Tampions, not bad indeed. Details. Check them.

• 1 Comment

Good news on the music front for the ol’ St. Pete with Push Ultra Lounge, which is being booked on Thursday nights by Thx Mgmt (aka REAX publisher Joel Cook). Sure their MySpace will make you run in the opposite direction and you wouldn’t necessarily want to accidentally show up at “Saturday Night Vibe with DJ Scooter,” but Thursday nights are looking pretty kickass in the coming months. The Beauvilles are playing February 14 with Summerbirds in the Cellar following them up on February 21. March 6 you can catch Velveteen Pink and Giddy-Up, Helicopter. Dude, the doctor called, he said you need more live music on Thursdays - get to it!

Here’s the inevitable pessimistic part of the post: please, please, please don’t fuck this up St. Pete. Push is not a small space and all I can see in my head is a really good band showing up and playing for 14 people in a place that should hold 300. I don’t like the Garage, but it comes to mind as a place that could have been a contender for live music but remains maddeningly devoid of rockshow fans. Don’t make this another Garage. This is our chance to actually make St. Pete a place where bands might actually play shows, imagine that shit. And just think, we could all use a few less trips over the bridge with one tied on.

Interesting incestuous side note: tickets for Thx Push shows are sold through Merchline, who also sells our shirts, and may or may not be run by a member of Auto!Automatic!!. Man, the Bay area music/culture/art scene is crazy inbred. Not interesting personal side note: Joel, much love and respect, but you might want to lay off the 100% magenta/45 degree angle thing… I think that even looks old in Florida these days.

• 11 Comments

Got a $5 bill burning a hole in your pocket? Want to stay up really late on a Thursday night? Good news! You can take that $5 and turn it into a night of the rawk with Auto!Automatic!!, Capillary Action and Insect Joy at the New World Brewery, this very night!

I’m digging Capillary Action quite a bit, these cats hail from Philly and describe themselves as “everything from melodic death metal rave-ups, fractured no wave-inspired crescendos, Latin rhythms, video game music, lazy alt-country pop, lounge jazz, new wave synths, and mathy melodies.” Should be interesting at the very least. And as has been very clear to date, we here at the Splog are fans of hometown heroes A!A!!, so you really can’t go wrong with that.

Just don’t blame me that Insect Joy is basically unlistenable.

• 0 Comments

If you don’t want to drive to Tampa tomorrow night, consider hitting up the Highly Recommended: Emerging Artist Invitational at Florida Craftsmen. The show sounds awesome, featuring works by new artists with no prior solo exhibition experience. The opening reception is Friday from 6-9 p.m.

• 0 Comments

Time for some culture, kids. Seriously, the internet is rotting your brain, you need to get out from time to time. The cats at RedLetter1 are kicking off Out of Print, a collection of sold out screenprints by Jeremy Fish, this Friday, January 18 at 8 pm. You’ve got lots of options for checking out Jeremy’s work: here, here and here if you wanna buy some shizzle. So check the shit out virtually, and then see what it is like to interact with real human beings (perhaps a bit trendy and hipster, but overall nice enough folks).

• 0 Comments

Just a friendly reminder that you’ve got lots of opportunities to relive the childhood you never had with the splendors and magic of the holiday season right here in the Spurg. Of course, if you’re lazy you could just take in Honky the Christmas Goose to get in the spirit, but you have to leave your house at some point. Why, this weekend alone you can enjoy any of the following christmasfuckingspirit-inducing activities:

Look at some friggin’ lights
Walk down Central and it will totally be a scene out of It’s a Wonderful Life. “Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!”

Buy some shit
Visit Artspace (above Craftsman Gallery) from 5:30 - 9 pm Saturday and buy some $5 artist-made ornaments with proceeds benefiting The Hospice of the Florida Suncoast.

Laugh at singing schmucks
From 5:30 - 7 pm Saturday spend your night laughing and pointing at a bunch of sissies singing holiday classics at North Straub Park.

Hate on rich people
Head to the Pier from 6:30 - 8:30 pm Saturday for the lighted boat parade. Spend the rest of the evening convincing yourself those people are in no way better than you. Bunch of rich snobs.

End your night with some dope music
8 pm at the Pier, time to get drunk and listen to a bunch of tubas playing Christmas music. Come on, you know you want to.Oh, and Creative Loafing put together a super extensive list of holidaytastic stuff, so check that shit.

• 0 Comments

Face it, no matter how stern, yet secretly cool your dad is, you aren’t getting that Red Ryder BB gun for Christmas. Oh, and if you finally lose your shit and face up to the bully that’s been screwing with you and the neighborhood kids, you’re going to get your ass kicked. Don’t believe the movies. As such, we suggest you take the holidays into your own hands and plan to soak in all the sugary sweet goodness that is Christmas in the ‘burg.

Now - Dec. 31 | Holiday Display Extravaganza
I don’t know if I believe this, but the good mayor mentioned at the tree lighting that businesses along Beach Dr., Central Ave. and 1st Ave, N. and S. are dressing their windows up old school style. I make no guarantees on the accuracy of that.

Dec. 1, 10 am | Santa Parade
This is an 80 year old tradition - in other words you best not miss it. Parade route runs along Central Ave. to the waterfront, north on Bayshore Drive to 5th Ave. N.

Dec. 1, 11 am - 3 pm | Snowfest
Head to North Straub Park for some tobogganing on real snow and skating on some fake ice. The ice rink lasts until the 23rd when it inexplicably melts. Bring $5 for 30 minutes, and if you go Thursday - Sunday Santa’s dumbass will be there.

Dec. 7 & 8, 7:30 pm | The Chocolate Nutcracker
Yeah, it is what you think it is. Mahaffey Theater, $27 - $47.

Dec. 8, 5:30 - 9 pm | Deck The Halls
Visit Artspace (above Craftsman Gallery) and buy some $5 artist-made ornaments with proceeds benefiting The Hospice of the Florida Suncoast.

Dec. 8, 5:30 - 7 pm | The Great Figgy Pudding Street Corner Caroling Competition
Don’t miss the chance to laugh at a bunch of assholes singing holiday classics in a contest format at North Straub Park.

Dec. 8, 6:30 - 8:30 pm | Lighted Boat Parade at The Pier
Stop by the Pier to check out a bunch of rich doucehbags decorate their boats. Be sure to bring rocks to throw at them.

Dec. 8, 8 pm | Tuba Christmas
Stick around after the boat parade because nothing says Christmas like a shit ton of tubas. Well, tubas and your druncle beating you with a plastic bowling pin you got for Christmas. Don’t act like you don’t have a drunk uncle that shows up and ruins family parties. Well, I suppose if you have a normal family you don’t have a druncle, in which case get the fuck off our blog.

• 3 Comments

Dudes and dudettes, you are a bunch of ijiots if you don’t join us tonight at the unveiling of the new Devil Rays uniforms at Straub Park. You might be asking yourself why the shit you’d actually care about being present at a uniform unveiling, but wait… there’s more! Entertainment will be provided by none other than Kevin Costner and his ass kicking band “Modern West.” No, seriously, for free! And they ain’t no rinkydink outfit, they’ve been around for ages!

Modern West has played original rock-and-roll songs for the last two years, and it was in the Tampa area where the band had its first paying gig. What better place, then, to return and help the Rays celebrate? “When I’m on a baseball field, I know where I’m at,” Costner said. “And I think playing for the fans that love baseball, and have maybe had a 20-plus year relationship with me going into movies, is kind of a perfect fit.”

Dude, it is the perfect fit. Costner, baseball, bad music… man, only one thing could make that better:

Thursday evening will conclude with an 8 p.m. fireworks show, but that’s only Day 1 of the entertainment.

Shut the flip up! I was totally about to say fireworks and another day of entertainment. That Kevin Costner can read your mind, man… your damn mind! Which totally proves my theory that Waterworld was autobiographical. The Mariner had a sixth sense, Costner has a sixth sense. The Mariner had gills, Costner has gills. The Mariner loved rock music, Costner fucking makes rock music.

• 1 Comment

We should have mentioned this before now because you missed yesterday and most of today, but they’ll still be filming Acafool’s new video for “She’s Bad” tomorrow at OZ Gentlemen’s Club in Clearwater. We here at the Splog have had “She’s Bad” looping in our world headquarters for a minute now and it just keeps getting better - pure gold. Check out some photos from the shoot yesterday and a bonus creepy shot of Captain Grababooty:

• 4 Comments

Did you guys know that before USF was known for that football team or whatever they are currently known for they also did other things? Crazy, I know, but they have this cool Institute for Research in Art, which includes Graphicstudio. Graphicstudio opened in 1968 and is “a university-based atelier (fancy word for workshop, kids) engaged in a unique experiment in art and education, committed to research and the application of traditional and new techniques for the production of limited edition prints and sculpture multiples.”

Aannyywwaayy, this Friday, October 12th, Graphicstudio is having their 9th annual benefit sale. Tell us more, internets:

For one day only, October 12, 2007, Graphicstudio will offer fine art original prints at discounts ranging from 10-60% off the list price. All sales benefit Graphicstudio’s continuing research and educational programming. More than 100 original, artist-signed, fine art prints and sculpture multiples will be available. Some prints are rare, with just one impression remaining in inventory.

The shit goes off from noon until 10 pm, so while it will require driving to Tampa you at least have a large window in which to do it. And if you’re too cheap for that, just pick some stuff up off The Poster List.

• 0 Comments

When’s the last time you grabbed a person of the same sex and square danced the night away? What’s that, never?! Shit, you haven’t lived!

brightlight, topherchris and the Rabi will be reppin’ at the Suncoast Squares tonight at the Metro Center. Actually, they won’t, but still, isn’t it rad that the ‘burg has L.B.G.T. square dancing every Tuesday? For some reason that strikes me as a pretty damn cool thing.

Rabi, you know I’m just playin’, bro. Much love.

• 1 Comment

Busch Gardens’ Howl-O-Scream started last night with their Freaky Preview weekend. It may seem a little early for normal folk to get into the spirit, but the half price $30 tickets may convince you otherwise. Other than the savings, this is also a great time to see everything while it is still working. Traditionally the event opens with animatronics and other effects that end up breaking a week or two in, so if you go early you’ll be able to get the full effect.

I mentioned a little earlier that the DJ “mascot” sucks balls but beyond that I continue to be amazed at the quality of Howl-O-Scream, you’d think that a place like Universal would have a much better event but for the last 6 years Busch has consistently produced better mazes. I think Universal knows it, too, because this year they’re stepping it up with Freddy, Jason and Leatherface and 8 mazes to Busch’s 6. Oh, and they’ve got the Bill and Ted show which normally kicks much ass.

You’ve got 16 nights between now and October 28 to go, so don’t be a cheap ass sissy, get your tickets. Oh, and don’t forget to take advantage of the awesome aluminum beer bottles, or a few yards of beer sold in the park - it’ll give you that false sense of manliness you’ll need so you don’t cry like a little bitch in front of your old lady.

Bonus behind-the-scenes shot of the DGeh below. Oops, someone forgot to photoshop out his ears!

• 3 Comments