Hey there boys and girls, it’s time for ART! That’s right, we here at the Splog are men enough to admit that we like the art, and if you’ve got something to say about it we’ll put down our tea, take off our white gloves, remove our topcoat and beat you silly.

The Outlook Art Show, which fires up at 6 pm tomorrow night at Cafe Hey in Tampa, says the following about itself:

Art is a result of how individual opinions transpire visually and tangibly. The result may be directed by predictability, or driven by curiousity. Whatever the case, the end product is a recording of one’s perspective… Art is an ongoing conversation, the product is a documentation of an outlook, whether extremely obvious, or entirely vague.

Hmm, that actually sounds really wanky. Pretend you didn’t hear that and instead focus on the fact that it features artists like Red Labor, Brandon Dunlap and Brandon McClean.

Of particular note is that this is the first time in recent history that I can remember someone in the area creating a site just for a show, bravo kids! It looks like they are also planning to sell pieces on the site as well. It was built by the cats over at Solid Motive, who I actually haven’t heard of but seem to do reasonably decent work. I don’t know what it is about Florida, though, because while their stuff looks pretty damn good on the outside, you dig around a little and find stuff like this where it looks like they either repeated a post for testing or just aren’t paying attention to what is visible on the live site. Come on fellas, details!

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It’s time to inject a little POSIVIBE into this downer of an internet, so here are a few things that don’t suck, and if we say they don’t suck that means you need to leave your house this instant and get in on this shit. Seriously.

Chappy’s Lousiana Kitchen Happy Hour
Monday-Friday from 4-7pm
This place is damn good, which means it probably won’t last very long. Don’t let another one get away, get your ass down every day of the week from 4-7pm and enjoy 2 for 1 well drinks, domestic drafts and house wines. Oh, and a buffet of free food. You’ll have to fight through some of the urchins that come for the free food, but it is well worth it.

St. Pete Shuffle
Free on Fridays from 7-11pm
Hit this up, take lots of pictures of yourself and then tell all your hipster friends in other cities about it, they’ll be jealous. Seriously, they do this stuff in the REAL Bay area on the other side of the country. Hipster cred points abound.


Summer Sunset Film Festival
Monday nights at 8:30 pm
Free movies on the roof of Push, Monday nights. This coming week (August 3) check out Hepburn, Bogart and Holden in Sabrina. Indiana Jones is not in this version, so keep that in mind.

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There is an absolute shit ton of things to be said about the race for mayor and don’t you worry, if there’s anything we’re full of here at the Splog, it’s shit. I wanted to draw your attention to an event on Wednesday that has the potential to greatly affect the futurepast (I just coined that shit) of our city. Here are the details:

Mayoral candidates preservation summit
Wednesday, July 29 7:00 PM - 9:00 PM
Studio@620

It looks like most of the candidates will be in attendance to discuss their thoughts and plans on preservation. This could be a complete suckfest, the details seem to focus more on Saint Petersburg Preservation presenting something or another and then having the candidates respond in 5 minutes. I’m less interested in hearing from SPP, I know what they want, so I’m hoping there will be enough time for the candidates to speak at length about their take on preserving a city that has a history of seriously screwing this up.

My #1 question would be this: how will you, personally, prevent the same bullshit mistakes that have turned large chunks of Central Ave. into a ghost town? And if Scott Wagman says he’ll paint that shit, I’ll punch him right in the nuts.

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There is so much awesome in this photo I don’t even know where to start. The auditions for this band must have been interesting to say the least. And boy do I have great news for you: tonight you are going to the Ritz to see Who’s Bad, the Michael Jackson tribute band. Yes, yes you are. I mean, look at these guys, how can this be anything less than absolute perfection?

I’m rather intrigued by the photo below. Is there a tiny person and a stoner actually IN the band? Or are these just the type of people that came to the show? Either way I want in on that party.

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Your Thursday night just got booked, and you’ll be spending it at the Studio@620 for Open Wall Night. This clever show allows “any and all local artists to display one or two pieces” and is a fundraiser for Ready for Life, a community organization that helps foster youth leaving state care. Kids get aged out of the foster care system all of the time and they are basically given a handshake and a half-assed “good luck, kid.” Ready for Life is aiming to empower these kids with the tools and resources necessary to manage the difficult transition. So, go get a drink, see some art, BUY SOME ART, and feel good about being socially conscious. Shout out to Justin for putting this together.

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Hey there, get out of your house. Tonight. Go to an art show.

Click the image, which was so kindly provided (without him knowing) by Joel over at REAX, to go to someone or another’s MySpace that may or may not have more information which is readable by a human. Sheesh.

Also, I’m cranky, so WTF Nova? You have a badass space, but way to not provide any helpful information on upcoming Events on your site. When I click EVENTS CALENDAR it would be helpful to get a LIST OF EVENTS instead of a picture of FOUR SOUTH TAMPA HOOCHIES. Three clicks in and I get to know what DJ will be there and nothing else? Tsk tsk. If you want a better website, just let us know.

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I’m too lazy to even type, so I’m just uploading the posters. Tonight at NWB = 9pm, $7. Redletter1 = new space, pretty awesome. Yes. Have fun!

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No worries kiddies, I was taking an interweb vacation but I’m back. Looks like the Nude Nite Art Show deadline is rapidly approaching and I figured some of you out there might want to sign up to hang your danglies in Tampa in the name of art. Actually, I don’t want to think about your danglies, but this sounded interesting so I figured I’d pass it along.

First, here’s the sales pitch:

Since 1997, Nude Nite is a juried art exhibition with hundreds of artists celebrating the body beautiful by creating a bazaar-like atmosphere of artistic talents not only in photographs and paintings, but also in live body painting, sensual performances, shapely sculpture and experimental installations. The abundance of imagery makes Nude Nite a “must-see event.”

I’m a little frightened by the concept of sensual performances, but I sure hope it involves the Senator in his nighty.

If this sounds like something you’d like to be involved with, the submission deadline is February 4 and you can download the application here. Oh, and it goes without saying that the site is potentially NSFW, so be careful little ones! The event itself is February 26-28 in Ybor and will run you $20.

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That right kids, ’tis Thursday and time to plan the weekend. Here are a few events that might be worth checking out:

I <3 St. Pete Show
ARTPool, Saturday 6 pm - 12 am
I still haven’t made it to this place, and I’m not 100% sold on it just yet, but this show looks like it is going to be good. Blue Lucy, Bask and Chris Parks are showing, so that shouldn’t suck. Speaking of which, Chris Parks’ ass won the Reax cover contest with his mad balls.

Sunshine City Antiques & Collectibles Show
Coliseum, Fri. 5 - 8 pm, Sat. and Sun. 10 am - 5 pm
I’m totally an antiques fag, go ahead and laugh. This is always a good show with furniture, art, jewelry, pottery, vintage clothing, etc.

Cigar City Tattoo Convention
The Cuban Club, Thursday-Saturday
This looks like it might not suck, and if it does you can at least catch Jim Rose playing MC.

Gallery Walk
Central Ave., Saturday 5:30 - 9 pm
Looks like this will be kicking up again, happens the second Saturday of every month and features about a dozen downtown galleries open late for art and culture and shit.

Art in the Park
Williams Park, Saturday 10 am - 3 pm
Not sure how this will work out but it’ll be art, vendors, music, performers and food in a park more well known for other things. For extra fun drop by Friday night to see the St. Pete PD forcibly removing the homeless.

If you’ve got other shit to add, just leave ‘em in the comments.

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Let me start out by saying that State Media fucking sucks at promoting shows. Seriously, what the hell? I’m just now finding out about Slick Rick playing the State tomorrow and the shit isn’t even listed on their site? People, come on, try a little harder.

Fortunately, though, the great news that Rick the Ruler will be in the ‘burg almost makes me forget the suckitude. That’s right, Slick Motherfucking Rick, aka Ricky D, aka Rick the Ruler. Tickets are $20 ahead of time (although your guess is as good as mine where you buy them) and $25 at the door.

Splog Slick Rick Fun Facts:

• The eye patch is actually functional! He’s blind in that shit.
• He was recently pardoned of attempted murder charges that have been haunting him since 1990.
• Attempting to deport his ass (related to the 1990 charges), INS officials snagged him in the middle of a live performance on a Florida cruise ship.

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We’ve covered paranormality before, but that pales in comparison to the big ball of awesome that will be rolling into Clearwater July 19th and 20th. That’s right kids, TAPSCON 2008 is about to knock your damn socks off.

If you find yourself asking “what is TAPSCON?”, begin by kicking yourself right in the damn junk. Then, do it one more time and read the following:

At its core, TAPSCON is a multi purpose gathering of influencial people in the world of ghosts & hauntings. Its a learning experience packed with informative presentations, demos, displays, music, paranormal celebrities and much more. Its a place to kick back and have a great time. Its unlike any paranormal gathering of its kind.

Yeah, that’s right, it involves GHOSTS and KICKING BACK while LEARNING and CELEBRITIES gather. Or something. Seriously, miss this and you might as well slap your mom right across the face for having you.

Seeing Blue Öyster Cult is worth it alone… wait, hang on… uh, “Join us at TAPSCON and enjoy our inclusive concert series featuring Underbelly (the original Blue Oyester Cult) and more!” Wait, that isn’t BÖC. Hell, a really lazy Googlejaunt shows nothing about Underbelly except that TAPSCON may be referencing the original name of BÖC, which was Soft White Underbelly. So you’re telling me that it isn’t BÖC, but instead 3 dudes that were part of the extremely shortlived band that predated BÖC? You lying sacks of shit, unless they tell me not to fear the reaper with Buck Dharma’s smoking riffs humping my earholes you MAY NOT CALL THEM BÖC.

At least ‘N Sync is still locked in… wait, hang on… “Chris Kirkpatrick, formerly of ‘N Sync has teamed up with TAPSCON in an effort to raise money for less fortunate kids who aspire to follow their musical wishes.” Motherfuckers. Also, what the hell? Chris Kirkpatrick is raising money for music lessons via paranormal gatherings? Um, ok, that’s really friggin’ peculiar, but carry on.

I know for a FACT that Robert the Doll is in, though. You know, Robert, that super creepy doll that has resided down in Key West for over 100 years. He is most well known for torturing kids, staring creepily out of an attic window and generally wreaking paranormal havoc of all sorts. You know, a lot like the other inhabitants of Clearwater: the Scientologists!

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Saturday, July 5th at New World, kiddies. Dead Maids (akin to Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Sonic Youth and Explosions in the Sky) are coming all the way from the UK, attachedhands may or may not have Summerbirds somewhere in it, Joon sucks (sorry guys) and Petrograd in Transit is a “heavily buzzed instrumental outfit” according to THX MGMT.

So remember, Pale Horse first, then off to the NWB for a rocking good time.

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Guess what you’re doing on Saturday, July 5th? That’s right, you’re drinking free beer courtesy of Pale Horse under the guise of an art show! No, wait, that’s what we’ll be doing. You’ll be going to see another great art show put on by these lovely folks and scoping out some kickass graffiti.

The Energy Show will be featuring over 30 international graffiti artists focusing on technical and colorful graffiti lettering styles from artists such as Waf (Belgium), Cern (New York), Center (Florida) and Akut (Germany).

Saturday night is the opening reception which runs from 8:00 - 11:00 pm at Pale Horse (Corner of Central and MLK more or less). There is no cover, all ages are welcome and free drinks with proper ID. Also free is the opportunity to be seen with some of the hippest of the hip and the opportunity to say shit during future conversations with your friends about how Waf and Cern are some of your favorite street artists. Seriously, that shit will go a long way.

Oh, and while you’re there be sure to buy some shit. Hell, the badass skulltastic FL shirt at left is only $5. It will lend lots of cred to your Waf/Cern discussion if you throw in “I bought this shirt at a dope downtown art gallery that you probably wouldn’t know about, it is pretty exclusive.” Dude, you’re going to get chicks with that shit, I guarantee it.

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I should clarify that I do not wish for you, if you possess a pair of balls, to rock them off. I am speaking figuratively. As such, women are more than invited to rock their balls off as well, this is an all inclusive ball rocking offage.

Wednesday, June 25 @ The Orpheum
El Ten Eleven and Petrograd in Transit
El Ten Eleven proves once again that instruments with MORE THAN ONE NECK will rock MORE THAN ONE BALL off.

Thursday, June 26 @ Crowbar
Maserati, Summerbirds In The Cellar, Red Room Cinema & Clock Hands Strangle
This should be a good one, if nothing else you can be absolutely MOFUGGIN’ certain that Summerbirds will hand you your balls. Twice.

Saturday, June 28 @ The Orpheum
MeWithoutYou, Maps And Atlases and Gasoline Heart
Not so much a fan of the MWY, but Maps and Atlases is definitely worth checking out.

Thursday, July 3 @ The Social (yes, you’ll have to drive to Orlando)
Boris
Thank your lucky balls that Boris is coming to Florida, and then kiss those fuzzy bastards goodbye.

With Dethklok and others on the horizon this is going to be one hell of a summer.

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Looking for something to do tonight?  Look no further than Summer Jam 4.  “What’s that?”, you say.  It’s a dual-venue smogasbord of bands, DJs, and girls with goggles on their heads.  Five out of five Swedish chefs agree: It’s teh awesome.  Check the poster for details:

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