This dude is going to be seriously pissed when he wakes up on November 4 and realizes he has spent a small fortune on yard signs, Google ads and a team of people annoying me with shitty e-mails. Hell, he may be pissed on September 2, but you have to guess that the sheer number of times people will see his dumb signs will get him through the primary.

Seriously, though, the guy sells paint. He may be lovely, smart, have good ideas, etc. but what the hell does selling paint have to do with mayorin’? I’ll tell you: nothing. The one thing he does have going for him is his delusions of grandeur - check this out from his most recent e-mail:

The Pier visioning committee needs some time to do its job and come up with the next version of this important asset to our city. Paris has the Eiffel Tower, New York has the Statue of Liberty and, under my watch, St. Petersburg will have its subsidy free and iconic Pier for tourists and locals alike.

Sweet, that sounds totally attainable: something in the ‘burg that people equate with national treasures. Remember kids, open a window when working with paint, the fumes can be quite dangerous.