Swine fluThat’s right kids, the swine flu has hit the ‘burg. Cue hysteria and panic in the streets.

“A child attending A Ginny’s Little Giants day care facility in north St. Petersburg has contracted swine flu, according to Bay News 9.”

That is an actual photo of how the kid contracted it. Seriously. The little dude was making out with a sick pig. Wait, sorry. I must admit I didn’t actually read the story so I drew my own conclusions and searched for a photo that made the most sense. But I bet I’m pretty close to the truth.

There aren’t a lot of details just yet, but the underlying message is clear: RUN FOR THE FUCKING HILLS, WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!1!!!1!