A child drug dealer narrowly avoided capture while trying to smuggle drugs via a bag of Skittles at the Tampa Airport yesterday. The clever criminal ate the Skittles while in the car on the way home with gramps and grams and faked lethargy to avoid being busted.

After being rushed to the hospital the 4 year old was all “oh shit, what the fuck is this shit, I thought this shit was Skittles, I’ve never seen drugs in my life, I’m a fucking baby, this is some fucked up shit right here.”

The real story is far less interesting than my version, but feel free to read it here. Seriously, though, this is some really scary shit, I hope the kid found the bag as opposed to someone actually giving it to her. My guess is that some dumbass was trying to get their stash of oxycontin on vacation with them and left that shit just lying around. I’ve got to fault the grandparents a bit here, though, who apparently didn’t notice either the kid obtaining the candy nor eating enough of it in the car to have a reaction.

There’s a lesson here, kids: don’t do drugs. And don’t eat random Skittles you find at the airport.