I think I’ve been relatively transparent when it comes to my feelings about Lex Salisbury and the zoo debacle. Additionally I called the fact that the dude was doing sketchy shit ages ago. Now it is time to make another prediction:

This Bob Merritt dude is totally guilty

I’m not totally sure what he’s guilty of yet, but let’s look at the facts:

1. Our boy Bobby just resigned as Chairman of the zoo, claiming he totally was planning to anyway, but he stuck around to provide his invaluable guidance through the turmoil.
2. Our boy Bobby has had previous experience failing at invaluable guidance - you know, like when he jumped ship from Outback. Of particular interest in that case was the fact that he cited an “esoteric set of accounting rules” for making his job just too damn hard for him to take.
3. You may recall Bobby headed up an audit of Lex in September, saying all along the way that everything seemed to be kosher with Lex stealing money and animals from the zoo. (Yes, stealing. If you’re thinking about posting a comment saying I don’t know shit about shit, save it.)
4. Related to the above point, you might also recall that the city audit basically found the exact opposite.

Here’s where I hastily add things up using bogus math to prove my totally biased point. Bobby = fucked up at Outback, publicly blaming legal requirements that made him accountable for the handling of money. Bobby = fucked up at the internal audit of Lex Salisbury. Ergo, Bobby = totally knew what was going on at the zoo, totally had something to do with the $200,000 that Lex cost the zoo for his personal menagerie and is totally bailing right now in hopes that the audit will end before all of this becomes clear. Totally.

Bonus fun fact! Search Google for “lex salisbury” - the number one result is none other than Lex Salisbury sucks at zoos here on the Splog. You’re welcome, Lex!