My all time favorite local way-too-hyper-and-clearly-on-drugs anchor Russell Rhodes was arrested Friday after acting way-too-hyper-and-clearly-on-drugs. And how might that type of behavior manifest itself? In this case it would be erratic driving, unbuttoned pants, acting intoxicated, attempting to run away, arm flailing and breaking his fall to the ground with his face.

Around 10:15 p.m., an off-duty deputy with the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office spotted a 2006 BMW 325i driving recklessly in a Channelside public parking garage… The deputy stopped the BMW and the driver, Rhodes, got out with his belt undone and his pants unbuttoned, though they were still up. Rhodes appeared to be intoxicated… He had his car key in his right hand, and when deputies tried to take it, he began waving his hands to keep them from taking it…

Excellent work, Russell. And seriously, ouch on the face. Two things that will quickly put an end to a career in television news: arrests and busted faces. Unfortunately, this is a double whammy Mr. Rhodes! Anyone got any theories on the pants? For a normal person I’d assume he ate too many ribs and simply unbuttoned his pants to get some air. In the case of Russ, though, I’m thinking he might have been chokin’ the chicken, pullin’ the pud, bashin’ the bishop, playin’ the pocket pool, spankin’ the monkey, adjustin’ the antenna, playin’ the organ, badgerin’ the witness, slappin’ pappy, fondlin’ the fisherman, roughin’ up the suspect, shakin’ hands with beef, etc.

I had the pleasure of being on the television with Mr. Rhodes years ago, and the one thing I remember from it is this: dude must be doing coke. He showed up before 5 am and had all the weird, hyper, sketchy traits of a fiend - he even kept leaving, going to the van and coming back repeatedly. I’d call this one of those sooner or later types of stories, the clock was ticking for poor Russell and as soon as he took his pants off in the car it was only a matter of time.