As we all know from watching those ubiquitous Cymbalta ads with that adorable golden retriever being neglected by its owner who is, you know, like totally bummed out about living in a huge house on the beach with craftsman quilts and white wicker furniture, depression hurts, people.  It hurts you.  It hurts me, and it probably hurts that dog you keep in a vented bag and take on the fucking airplane with you.  It hurts the Splog, too, which, incidentally, I also take on planes with me in a little vented bag.  Isn’t it cute?

Am I depressed?  Not really, but it says a lot when you’ve been reading about, seeing and/or being affected by a bunch of totally lametastic local crime bullshit when it takes the wind out of the sails on your proud, intrepid little ROFLboat - the S.S. Lulz, if you will.  Not even making fun of people’s crappy websites brings me joy at the moment.  I may have finally found a use for the word inconsolable.

In the past month, I’ve been witness to a comically botched purse snatching outside the Independent (seriously, it was that dude’s first day, clearly), had my shit stolen from a rehearsal studio, and now, in amongst the usual daily flow of “‘Man stabs other man in spleen over 12 pack’, ‘Gator wrasslin’ granny mauled by neighbor’s pit bull’, and ‘This just in: Forbes says Florida still pretty much sucks at everything’”, there’s this nasty robbery and assault at The Table downtown.  What the shit?

What Casey says is true.  It might be time for an exodus, or at the very least, one long-ass road trip.  Sadly, with the economy the way it is, and with gas prices as high as they are, this may not be an option for many people, which is why I was really happy to find the following footage shot by someone driving out of town.  No, seriously, it’s five minutes of some dude driving North on 275 to the bittersweet rock anthemic sounds of the new and recently made one fifth Phillipino, Journey.

What the shit? Awesome. It’s oddly mesmerizing. Immerse yourself, and just imagine all the new beginnings on the horizon. Well, imagine them until you realize that you totally virtually forgot to drop your apartment keys off with your landlord, and then totally virtually drive yourself back home. Good thing there’s a video going in the other direction:

Crisis averted.