PROTIP: If you’re going to drive like a complete asshole, it’s probably best to not do it in a car that’s got your cute little business logo and URL slapped on the back of it.  Adding a vanity plate with your business name on it is really just compounding the problem.  Having that plate actually be the Florida John Lennon “Imagine” plate adds a dimension of absurdity to all this that makes my head hurt.

So yeah, here’s looking at you, owner lady of Qrubini.com.  The last time I saw you, you and your professional entitlement mobile - also known as a silver Cadillac DTS - were riding my ass on 275 and FLASHING YOUR FUCKING LIGHTS at me in what I imagine was a morse-coded request that I either a) begin ramming the car in front of me so that I could create enough space for you to get to THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD on time, or b) side swipe the car next to me in order to get myself in a position to let you pass me so that you could, again, get to THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD.

This was on Sunday.  You remember Sunday, right?  It was raining.  Hard.  I was trapped under a balcony in Ybor for part of that storm, and it was raining and gusting so hard that the beads left over from the 4th festivities were being blown off balconies.  That’s right.  It was raining fucking mardi gras beads.  It continued to rain that hard most of the day, and that includes my little jaunt on 275 where I was going about 72 in a 65, which, while I’m no NASCAR enthusiast, seems to me to be a decent speed to be traveling in the left lane in the middle of a torrential downpour.  I guess THE MOST IMPORTANT SMALL BUSINESS OWNER IN THE WORLD didn’t think so.

Whatever, she finally fucked off down the road where I was able to watch her terrorize virtually every car with which she came into contact until she forked east off towards downtown.  That’s the best part.  That’s where I was going, and I ended up behind her at a light no less than fifteen seconds off her pace.  I guess all that light flashing paid off.

You should go check out her website.  I think you win a prize if you can actually find a business model.  This is my favorite part:

At QRubini our mission is to create a brand/label that is synonymous with a worthy lifestyle.  The adventure started with the design of a versatile logo, a logo that will be placed on a number of worthy products.  We believe as the world becomes smaller via technology and the globalization of trades, people will become more connected to the true flow of their money.

That’s some deep, meaningless shit right there.  Also, never underestimate the importance of coming up with a quality logo before you figure out what it is that you do.  Don’t miss this page, either, where whoever runs this thing has some “Ideas for Self Improvement (things to do to increase your patience level).”  No, seriously.

Whatever, I think the business is something about dresses that make little girls feel good that may or may not involve the exploitation of Nicaraguan seamstresses.  I’m glad to see that there seems to be a charitable component to the whole enterprise, because the person who runs it probably creates a vortex of karmic suck every time she gets in a car.