The face of cannibalism, or Dr. Seuss goes to the Meat Market
09 Jul
Posted by brightlight in the Blog department.
On the fourth Blissday of every month, the Whos gathered around the magistrate for a lesson in social etiquette. It had been this way as long as anyone could remember. None of us ever wanted to be cornered by the magistrate, but it was bound to happen one day, and it usually went something like this:
“And you, Danny Who. What would you do if a Wimbush bumped into you?”
“I’d befoozle her slimper, and then I’d blatten her crumper!”
Turning to the other child, the magistrate asked, “And you, Franny Who, what would you do if you were Bumped by a Bumpers?”
“I’d weefle her blosten and smidgen her woofus!”
Or, if you’re Pamela Bumpers, who did in fact Bump into a Wimbush, Jacqueline Wimbush to be precise, maybe you’d just start a fight and bite off the tip of her finger. Like, ouch. Just the tip, though. Ahem. Remind me not to take any risky plane trips over the Andes with Pamela Bumpers. I have to say, however, this is really a step up from her previous arrests for driving on a suspended license. It’s a step down for her hair, though. It looked a lot better when she got booked in February. Oh no I didn’t.
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One Response
Yeah, but did you really look at the pic of the victim with her sexy, sexy bandages and come-hither ever-so-slight smile? She wanted the bitin’, man, she wanted it. Yeahhh.
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