Wow. Let’s just start with that. Wow. Let’s also start with two important facts. First, I have no problem with gay people. Second, I am not a fan of people dying in motorcycle accidents. Got it? Great, now on to the wow.

It looks like the FHP is taking steps to attempt to address the uptick in motorcycle fatalities that some are blaming on an increase in bikers due to higher gas prices. This is good news, that’s precisely what the FHP should do. Certainly there are some obvious things that I can think of that they might try (helmet law, anyone?!), but this here is Florida and in Florida doing the obvious thing is crazy talk. Instead the FHP has announced their new safety campaign called “Ride Proud. Dress Loud.” No, no, stop laughing, I’m serious.

It looks like someone thought the most logical way to address the problem is to convince bikers, who traditionally wear nothing but black, that wearing 80s neon chaps will be their salvation. Seriously, quit laughing, this is for real. Now certainly “Ride Proud. Dress Loud.” is a tad easier than the original name (”Motorcycle Conspicuity” - for serious), but dudes… you are doing it wrong.

They started off with a list of helpful tips which include such gems as:

While inconspicuous black clothing may be in fashion, it offers little visibility on roadways.

Right, let me throw out my collection of all black gear immediately, good idea. Or perhaps you could just replace your bike!

Motorcyclists can purchase a brightly-colored bike from the factory for higher visibility.

If this stuff doesn’t seem out of touch, check out the ads to the right. No, I didn’t Photoshop these, they actually contain incredibly homoerotic taglines like “Great Balls of Fire” and “Green Eyed Monster.” WTF!? Do they have any clue who their audience is? I mean “Good Morning Sunshine” is your best effort to reach bikers?! Let me know how that works out for you.