We’ve covered paranormality before, but that pales in comparison to the big ball of awesome that will be rolling into Clearwater July 19th and 20th. That’s right kids, TAPSCON 2008 is about to knock your damn socks off.

If you find yourself asking “what is TAPSCON?”, begin by kicking yourself right in the damn junk. Then, do it one more time and read the following:

At its core, TAPSCON is a multi purpose gathering of influencial people in the world of ghosts & hauntings. Its a learning experience packed with informative presentations, demos, displays, music, paranormal celebrities and much more. Its a place to kick back and have a great time. Its unlike any paranormal gathering of its kind.

Yeah, that’s right, it involves GHOSTS and KICKING BACK while LEARNING and CELEBRITIES gather. Or something. Seriously, miss this and you might as well slap your mom right across the face for having you.

Seeing Blue Öyster Cult is worth it alone… wait, hang on… uh, “Join us at TAPSCON and enjoy our inclusive concert series featuring Underbelly (the original Blue Oyester Cult) and more!” Wait, that isn’t BÖC. Hell, a really lazy Googlejaunt shows nothing about Underbelly except that TAPSCON may be referencing the original name of BÖC, which was Soft White Underbelly. So you’re telling me that it isn’t BÖC, but instead 3 dudes that were part of the extremely shortlived band that predated BÖC? You lying sacks of shit, unless they tell me not to fear the reaper with Buck Dharma’s smoking riffs humping my earholes you MAY NOT CALL THEM BÖC.

At least ‘N Sync is still locked in… wait, hang on… “Chris Kirkpatrick, formerly of ‘N Sync has teamed up with TAPSCON in an effort to raise money for less fortunate kids who aspire to follow their musical wishes.” Motherfuckers. Also, what the hell? Chris Kirkpatrick is raising money for music lessons via paranormal gatherings? Um, ok, that’s really friggin’ peculiar, but carry on.

I know for a FACT that Robert the Doll is in, though. You know, Robert, that super creepy doll that has resided down in Key West for over 100 years. He is most well known for torturing kids, staring creepily out of an attic window and generally wreaking paranormal havoc of all sorts. You know, a lot like the other inhabitants of Clearwater: the Scientologists!