Gay pride is in the air; in fact, it’s been in the air all month, seeing as how June is pride month. It seems to me it’s had a little lower profile this time around in the media. I can’t figure out if that’s a good or a bad thing. You might remember that last year we got to deal with everyone’s favorite brimstone-spewing megaphone jockey, Larry Keffer, and there was a lot of discussion of free speech zones, all of which, of course, somehow magically elicited lots of feisty, raving anti-sodomoy bursts from Larry Keffer. I swear that dude captured a Google bot and keeps it somewhere in his basement. That dude will comment on your blog before you’re even done writing. Oh, that reminds me: HEY BUDDY! Now make with the Leviticus. I’m still a little unclear on that shellfish thing.
I don’t know, maybe the protestors are keeping it on the DL this year, since a bunch of them who came down here in their creepy church van from Georgia were just found guilty of violating a city ordinance for having signs that exceeded a certain allowable width. According to the ordinance, signs can’t be wider than the carrier’s torso. Rad. See, now this is one of those moments where the absurd literalism of the law can actually be used for good. Had the ordinance had anything to do with the actual content of the signs, well then you’d have a free speech issue on your hands. No, however, as the ordinance states, it’s just about public safety and ensuring that people are able to walk freely around you, your bible, and your silly sign. You know, public safety, and ok, maybe an eensy weensy little bit to do with keeping jackasses away from the proceedings. Unofficially, of course.
Why not fight a technicality with a technicality? Are you morbidly obese? Do you hate gay people? Can you carry a sign? Awesome! The van will be by your house at noon. Bigger torso. Bigger sign. Ahem.
The other startling news this year? Mayor Baker will again neither be endorsing, nor attending the parade tomorrow. Why the latter? It appears his office never got the email invite. Sure buddy, sure. Jesus built my spam filter.
You love a parade, and it’s tomorrow, June 28, at 10am. Be there.:
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