I’m not sure if this has been clear to date, but I really really really hate Charlie Crist. The most recent awesome gubernatorial move by the king of douches is the passing of bill HB 5083, a.k.a. the Fuck Florida’s Teachers bill. Here are some of the details:

1. Elimination of 10 percent bonus for certified teachers who mentor other educators
2. Elimination of assistance for $2,500 certification application fee

You might be thinking “but wait, isn’t Florida regularly ranked at the bottom of the shitheap for our quality of our schools?!” Why yes, yes we are. You might also be thinking “couldn’t we improve that standing by encouraging our teachers to mentor each other, and to assist them with National Board Certification?!” Why yes, yes we could.

The National Board for Professional Teaching Standards improves teaching and student learning. National Board Certified Teachers are highly accomplished educators who meet high and rigorous standards.

The good news is that now the only teachers capable of becoming certified will be the ones with $2,500 to blow on the application fee. Let’s be clear, though, we also cut funding (and raises) to teachers, so those whiners better not expect to be able to recoup that $2,500 through their paycheck.

Here’s what really bothers me about Crist, though, he’s a fucking shyster. He went on to call the cuts “disappointing” and said that he really didn’t want to sign the bill, but it had other good things in it and his hands were tied. He also told Secretary of State Kurt Browning that he looks forward to working with lawmakers next year to “reinstate these components” that HB 5083 cut. Uh, what? Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you? You signed the cuts and then immediately said “but I’ll be fighting to bring them back”?! You’re an idiot.

If you are bored and feel like reading all 16 pages of HB 5083, you can do so here.