We here at the Splog have remained quiet until now, but the time has come to announce our full-fledged support of offshore oil drilling here in Florida.

Gov. Charlie Crist has dropped his long-standing support for the federal government’s ban on offshore oil drilling and endorsed Republican presidential nominee-in-waiting John McCain’s proposal to let states decide. The governor said he reversed his position because of rising fuel prices and states’ rights. Crist is considered a possible running mate for the Arizona senator.
We were against drilling before, too, but now that the VP candidate spot is open on McCain’s ticket we thought it might be a good idea to start sucking his dick. Slurp, slurp Charlie Crist!
Couple of things that we are choosing to ignore so that we can support drilling and remain on McCain’s shortlist:
- The potential for pollution to our beaches (the only reason people actually come to the godforsaken state of Florida)
- It would take years (some say as many as 10) to produce energy from new drilling sites
- Producing more oil would have 0 impact on prices, the oil would simply go to companies who are not required by the government to keep costs in check - more oil, more profits
Hmm. This might be harder to ignore than we thought, but dammit we’ll try. Let’s close with an inspirational quote from our new best friend Charlie “Bleeding Heart” Crist:
“I mean, let’s face it, the price of gas has gone through the roof, and Florida families are suffering,” Crist said Tuesday. “And my heart bleeds for them.”
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5 Responses
Im terrified to know that “slurp slurp charlie crist” will now be Google-able.
Those who vote for unpolishable fecal units deserve tarry beaches filled with dying animals. It is unfortunate that the planet and the decent and innocent inhabitants thereof do not. F-Crist with a flaming oil platform. That should cause some heart bleedin’, you betcha.
Yeah, here’s a newsflash and a quicker answer… the solar and battery technology has been available for the last decade for us to not need gas…
Fucking assholes, If I had a wood chipper….. grrr
something for Mr Crist;
“even if tomorrow we opened up every square mile of the outer continental shelf to offshore rigs, even if we drilled the entire state of Alaska and pulled new refineries out of thin air, the impact on gas prices would be minimal and delayed at best. A 2004 study by the government’s Energy Information Administration (EIA) found that drilling in ANWR would trim the price of gas by 3.5 cents a gallon by 2027.”
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1815884,00.html?cnn=yes
“1. The potential for pollution to our beaches (the only reason people actually come to the godforsaken state of Florida)”
Well, almost the only reason. But other countries drill off the coast in international waters anyway, so the threat of an oil spill already exists. Not saying its a good thing, but neither is the lifeblood of our economy (oil) becoming an unobtainable commodity, causing not only gasoline prices to rise, but also increasing the cost of everything from tofu to diapers.
“2. It would take years (some say as many as 10) to produce energy from new drilling sites”
That isn’t a reason not to drill… it is just a reason that we should have done it 10 frickin’ years ago. Just sayin’… Anyone who says “lets not drill because we won’t see a result for 10 years” better damn-well promise that they have a better solution that can be implemented in under 10 years. Besides, that “10 year” bit refers to ANWR, not the gulf. Oil companies have pretty much said we can start pumping out oil here in a few years. The key is that we actually need to build new refineries to increase output, and deliver better products with less environmental impact.
“3. Producing more oil would have 0 impact on prices, the oil would simply go to companies who are not required by the government to keep costs in check - more oil, more profits”
Its all market-based. Oil company A can still charge $200 bucks a barrel, but if oil company B decides to sell at $150, then company A will no longer have any buyers. It is pretty simple economics anyway… as supply increases, cost decreases. Oil companies aren’t inherently evil, they are inherently capitalistic, as are all big companies. People who have a problem with oil company profits ought to consider the amount of money the government rakes in via gasoline taxes. Wouldn’t you love to pay $0.45 less per gallon starting tomorrow? The government has the power to do that without interfering with the operations of industry.
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