Looks like a gunman was recently (as in, a few hours ago) killed after opening fire in the courthouse downtown. Um, hello? Am I still in St. Pete? Good lord. I suppose this is one way to get on the map, eh?

Here’s the really messed up part, though. Not the fact that a dude got killed. Not the fact that the bailiffs that killed him will be scarred for life. Not the fact that this is yet another national “wacky stuff happens in Florida” story. Nope, what’s really messed up is that the one thing I can contribute to this story isn’t panning out.

You see, I’m pretty much a one trick pony when it comes to crime. Read crazy story, look up arrest record, make fun of dude. Except, this time, I can’t find our boy Glen Lee Powell. He unfortunately is neither Glenn Alvin Powell, nor Glenn E. Powell, nor Glennoy Alpha Powell, nor Glenda Powell. Sure, these are all seasoned criminals with excellent histories, but they are not the recently deceased Glen Lee Powell.

So, what to do? I don’t do serious commentary, nor analysis of how this will affect future court proceedings downtown, nor ponder the motives of a jackhole that goes to court with a gun. Nope, those just aren’t my thing. I guess I’m left with just two options:

1. Title your post “Ho. Lee. Shit.”
2. Encourage kids to stay in school.

As such, I close with this important reminder: kids, stay in school.