I had the incredible honor of spending an evening in the cultural mecca that is Dunedin last night, and boy are my eyes open. Here I thought St. Pete was the place to be, but St. Pete is to Dunedin as Buttfuck, Indiana is to NY. The culture, entertainment and variety of trendy bars is staggering! Staggering I say!

Here’s what you should do immediately: stop reading this shit and go to Dunedin. Start off with some Mahi Tacos at Jolli Mon’s, that shit will get your stomach ready for getting your fade on. Sit on the patio, that way you can watch the fat rollerbladers on the Pinellas Trail. Next check out the Dunedin Brewery, you should be good to go unless it is Earth Day and there’s a drum circle composed of creepy dudes inexplicably carrying hula hoops. If it is Earth Day, don’t go in. Seriously. Otherwise, get a Redhead Red or two.

Next, you have options but you should ignore those options because they just get in the way of the magical time you will spend at the Chic-a-boom Room. Remember, though, this isn’t amateur ‘burg hour, don’t be rollin’ up in there unless you’re dressed right or they’ll kick you right the fuck out. Also, keep your eyes peeled for some hott cross dressin’ dudes making their way to the backdoor of Blur. Don’t be tempted to follow them, though, you’ll get there soon enough once you’ve got a good buzz going. You may want to keep a skirt handy, too, dudes in skirts drink free on Wednesdays, Tuesdays are alternative lifestyle and Fridays celebrate the art of female impersonation. Dope.

When you pass out in the bathroom, no problem, Kelly’s is right next door to fix you up a hangover stomping breakfast. Just be careful not to show up there with a group of dudes, they’ll totally misunderstand and it’ll make for some awkward air kisses.