No, I’m not kidding. Breaking news from the Herald Tribune: Stolen artificial body parts returned.

Stealing stuff is pretty cool. Grave robbery is even cooler. Stealing artificial body parts that are leftovers from cremations = Fonz.

Seriously, though, did you know that artificial body part leftovers from cremations end up in a single vault at most cemeteries? I sure didn’t. We’re talking 2,000 pounds of crap - how many dead people must that represent? I sort of assumed that stuff got hocked by the funeral home or something, shows how much I know about proper burial techniques.

The good news is that they didn’t find my personal stash from the original heist, and right now you can bid on a fake leg I’ve got on eBay.