Why the shit wasn’t I notified that I could potentially be the next owner of Weeki Wachee?! $10? Sonofa… In a change of ownership only slightly less confusing than the previous owner (Swiftmud), Weeki Wachee is now a state park. I’m going to venture out on a limb here and say this might very well be the only state park anywhere with mermaids. Totally awesome. Although, we still have nothing on Big Bone Lick State Park in Boone County, Kentucky.

You can read all the juicy details here, which technically aren’t all that juicy and don’t actually contain all that many details. It does, however, remind us that the springs are 403 feet deep, the deepest springs in the US. That’s right, Big Bone Lick, our mermaids go deep. Take that.

And now for a sad and revealing admission: I have never been to Weeki Wachee. Yes, I know, a travesty. I will most definitely take this opportunity, however, to patronize this classic Florida attraction. And I will do so using both definitions of patronizing, since that’s how I roll.

*All research for this story courtesy of the Mermaid’s Grotto, an incredibly comprehensive and well-designed internet stop.