Dipshit threatens to jump

23 Jan

Posted by The One in the In the News department.

Mean belly flop Am I crazy, or is the tallest point on the Bayside Bridge something like 20 feet? This story paints a picture of a heroic deputy risking life and limb to save a man from jumping off a harrowing overpass into the murky waters below. Which, if he was on the Skyway I could see. But, the Bayside? Someone go measure that shit and add it to the Wikipedia entry.

Seriously though, I’m sorry shit sucks with your wife and kids. But really, threatening to jump of the Bayside is like saying you’re heading to the high dive and totally going head first. Shit, that actually sounds fun, if I wasn’t such a lazy asshole I’d totally try it myself. In the future, however, take your own suicide more seriously, all this would have resulted in is one mean belly flop.

2 Responses

John F

January 23rd, 2008 at 6:21 pm

20+ feet. And that’s generous.

But then again, I watched mythbusters (hello, Kari!) and have seen how falls into water can be dangerous… Hell, some clown died jumping off the East Lake Road overpass over the Lake Tarpon canal… Of course, that overpass is like 40 feet. The Bayside Bridge’s highest point could probably fit under it :p
calebism

January 23rd, 2008 at 9:54 pm

Maybe he was planning on a long lingering death from some flesh-eating microbial infection picked up in the pristine bay waters. Or maybe he couldn’t afford the gas down to the Skyway. He failed to plan, and planned to fail. Better luck next time.