Can we just start by agreeing this is one scary looking, fat fuck? No wonder you have to go lil’ girl fishin’ on the internetz when you look like a giant squeezed all the organs out of your body and into your head.

Anyway, apparently Rico Suave here lured a 14 year old Polk county girl to a hotel via MySpace. Then he ate her. Actually I’m not sure about that last fact, but I am sure that Richard R. Gagnon met a 14 year old girl in a Lakeland hotel and had done so on five other occassions. As you can guess, the hotel stay included free towels, miniature soap and lewd battery and molestation.

Seriously, kids, get off the MySpace. I am going to start buying air time and running commercials of this dude reminding you why you need to kill your account. “Howdy kids, I’m Richie. You like MySpace? Me too. Know what else I like? Eating the flesh of children. NOM NOM NOM.” The campaign will be called Say No No No to Nom Nom Nom. What do you think?