Just a friendly reminder that you’ve got lots of opportunities to relive the childhood you never had with the splendors and magic of the holiday season right here in the Spurg. Of course, if you’re lazy you could just take in Honky the Christmas Goose to get in the spirit, but you have to leave your house at some point. Why, this weekend alone you can enjoy any of the following christmasfuckingspirit-inducing activities:

Look at some friggin’ lights
Walk down Central and it will totally be a scene out of It’s a Wonderful Life. “Merry Christmas, movie house! Merry Christmas, Emporium! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old Building and Loan!”

Buy some shit
Visit Artspace (above Craftsman Gallery) from 5:30 - 9 pm Saturday and buy some $5 artist-made ornaments with proceeds benefiting The Hospice of the Florida Suncoast.

Laugh at singing schmucks
From 5:30 - 7 pm Saturday spend your night laughing and pointing at a bunch of sissies singing holiday classics at North Straub Park.

Hate on rich people
Head to the Pier from 6:30 - 8:30 pm Saturday for the lighted boat parade. Spend the rest of the evening convincing yourself those people are in no way better than you. Bunch of rich snobs.

End your night with some dope music
8 pm at the Pier, time to get drunk and listen to a bunch of tubas playing Christmas music. Come on, you know you want to.Oh, and Creative Loafing put together a super extensive list of holidaytastic stuff, so check that shit.