Dude, please tell me you’re fucking kidding. Yes, I said fuck only 6 words in, but stay with me and you’ll see why. What the fuck is this?!
Florida Region Goes Virtual With High Tech Business Recruitment
HEATHROW, Fla.,Oct. 11 PRNewswire - Creativity, ingenuity and resourcefulness have lead the Florida High Tech Corridor to become one of the nation’s top emerging high tech hubs. Those same attributes were put to work to provide a unique way for business relocation and expansion targets to “visit” the Corridor without ever leaving their desks.
Seriously? I mean, come on, seriously?!
Through informative videos and graphics, www.VisitTheCorridor.com allows visitors to explore the Corridor’s key technology sectors and institutes of higher education, discover the region’s quality of life, examine the business climate, and explore the diverse counties that make up the region. The Visit is hosted by a “virtual” tour guide, Orlando’s WESH-TV Channel 2 Anchorwoman Wendy Chioji.
Informative videos and graphics? Oh. My. God. You guys are serious, aren’t you? Dude, I have my own PRNewswire for you: your website fucking sucks. You’re doing it wrong. You are embarrassing us all.
When the hell did they invent time travel, use it to go back to 1997, locate a shitty amateur web designer, bring him to the future and get him to build this piece of shit? I can just hear them now: “Use of Flash just because it seems high tech in 1997? Check. Crappy, half-assed forced perspective ‘lobby’? Check. Photoshop bevel and emboss on everything to make it look ‘3D’? Check. Obnoxious intro video for everything you click on? Check. No real content aside from obnoxious intro video? Check.”
I’m not kidding, this is embarrassing. You think this is going to impress real tech companies and encourage them to move their business to FL? Come on, people. Is it that hard to hire a professional to design your stupid ass website? The last thing busy executives want to do is wade through your bullshit bad design and annoying “virtual” video to learn basic information about why they might want to set up shop here.
And who do we have to thank for this? The assholes over at Flash happy Curley & Pynn, that’s who. Well I’ll be damned, their portfolio site is an equally craptastic abomination of web design that makes it extremely hard to actually see their work. Although, shit, that’s probably a good thing, don’t want people to see how shitty your work is before they write that check. Idiots.
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11 Responses
High tech corridor here?
Where? here?
Geeze, theres nothing here except mexicans and other crime making species just making beds, mowing lawns and getting drunk
Even NASA is getting out of the space business in the next 3 years
High tech?….they mean Best Buy?
Welcome to Florida, where not only are we at the forefront of technology, but apparently we are also at the forefront of race relations! Cheers to you, Katie, for your racist rant totally unrelated to either the original post, or to the ethos of this blog. We have plenty of readers without you, so please kindly fuck off.
Thanks!
That’s my favorite kind of comment. “I know your post was about crap web design and glaring technofails, but dammit, I want to talk about Mexicans.”
Moving right along. I thought that I would remind the awesome PR team at “We still think an acid green liquid filled status bar is a perfectly acceptable loading animation for 2007″ of the following:
Led: Past tense and past participle of lead. Writing are hard!11!1!
My favorite part of the site: if you look at the right “wall” of the Flash real quick, you can easily get the impression that the High Tech Florida logo is a ginormous hurricane heading towards the map of FL to its left.
I just spent ten minutes scanning that abortion-called-an-informative-website and have come to the conclusion that a real abortion would’ve probably been much cheaper. Wendy, I’d like my ten minutes back please.
I’m confused. Is Wendy mexican?
The “corridor” is just a convenience for techies like J. Wales seeking to evacuate in a big-ass hurry. Unfortunately, the “corridor” is a one-way street.
The only disagreement I have is having the scrotum hang from the panhandle. We live on a peninsula attached to a peninsula, which is akin to a penis being attached to a penis. So, maybe the scote should be somewhere in Punta Gorda? Depending who is giving the reach around. Discuss amongst yourselves.
When you mouse-over the monitor you get “quality of life”, but when you mouse-over they keyboard you get “higher education.” Wha??! Totally unrelated to the subject it’s linking to.
Most professionals get past the OMG FLASH TEH WHINZ phase by…oh…their second project. However, to see it represent the best of Florida’s technology efforts is so beautiful, so symbolic of the “I think I can!” mentality of this state - well, it brings a tear to my coarse, jaded heart.
And don’t knock Katie B - she’s just as symbolic of the personality of this state as that website.
I don’t know if you know this or not but the people that are Curley & Pynn were once fine sandwich artists at Subway. Sure, they couldn’t tell the difference between deli mustard and that yellow, family-picnic crap but now they’ve moved onto bigger and better things. I’m sure there are a lot of people in Plant City that would kill to have their services as opposed to just putting a wooden sign by the road telling them they have free firewood and kittens. It’s like choosing between a well-trained tattoo artist or simply asking your cell-mate to break out the ball point pens and guitar strings.
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