It’s a special day here at the Splog, one that, honestly, I thought would have come a lot sooner, what with our particular region’s somewhat delayed comprehension of internet culture. Nevertheless, it’s finally here, and we’re all going to celebrate by scoring some Zima and bringing it to our regularly scheduled Wednesday vampire LARP meetup. Oh yes, there will be much merriment, and it will be fueled by everyone’s favorite citrus-flavored malt beverage.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we’ve received our first threat of physical violence. It’s a good one, too. I guess some of the folks over at justlookitup.com weren’t all that happy about my ringing endorsement of their service. Apparently, someone recently taught them how to Google themselves and since then they’ve dropped some choice comments on the post. Of course, my favorite is the one in which some dude, who describes himself as being “heavily involved in the MMAWFC (Mixed Marital Arts World Fighting Championship) organization,” is offering to kick my ass in the ring . . . or cage, uh, or polygon . . . rhombus? Well, wherever the hell it is those dudes go all alpha male on each other. Actually, I can’t figure it out. He wants me to find a girlfriend, then Jesus and then kick my ass? All at the same time?

Seriously, though, while I am flattered by such an offer, especially from a professional ass kicker, yeah, um no. His buddy Carl is getting in on the act now, too. “Scared?” he says. Of course we are silly, it’s Halloween!

Wait, hang on . . . I am slowly processing all this. I think someone is literally asking us to “settle this in the ring.” How fucking awesome is that? You rock, MMORPG MMDA Mighty Mighty Bosstones dudes. You rock hard. Also, free publicity time is over, kids. Go make some more shitty commercials.