Well, we were up all night reading tea leaves and sifting through bird entrails to figure this one out. In then end it was a marathon rock, paper scissors tournament that decided it. It is in fact possible to be too stupid to be racist. This contentious meeting of the Splog minds was, of course, brought about by this swell story from Crystal River about some tavern owners who put up a festive noose and corpse in front of their bar as part of their Halloween display. The story’s also over here, for you people who just can’t get enough Bright House in your lives; nothing brings out the inter-media coverage like sensationalist lawn decorations and an opening to get in a little alliteration with the words “noose” and “news.” Go Times!

Anyway, first things first. I mean, come on. Look at that dude’s tattoo. There’s no way he can be racist; he’s clearly Native American. I love that tattoo. What is it about being country and claiming to be like, 1/300th Cherokee? Does that get you laid or something? Maybe it’s the country version of being “exotic.” I get it. I like to tell people I’m 1/300th Cyborg.

Right. So, here’s the thing. This issue is all about contextual insensitivity. To me, in order to be racist, these people would have to have at least enough brain cycles to have some shred of recognition that what they were doing could in fact be construed as racist. I just don’t think that’s true in this case. I don’t get the feeling that these are the kind of people who were glued to the TV during coverage of the Jena Six, nor are they aware of a place called Columbia, which also happens to be a University where another noose made a recent appearance.

Were they being racist when they hung the thing? I don’t think so. Is it a racist symbol. Why, yes it is. You can argue that public hanging was a sanctioned form of execution for years until you’re blue in the face (oh, the puns just keep coming) – completely unrelated to race, but that doesn’t change the fact that in the middle of fucking Florida, the dominant inflection of that symbol is that of racist lynchings.

Where does the racism come in, then? The racism comes in when, whether you intended it or not, you’ve now got a community of people telling you that you’re a dumb redneck assclown who needs to take down something that a number of people find offensive, and yet you refuse to take it down.

This is where it gets complicated. It would be one thing if these people happened to be undercover suphereo members of team ACLU called to defend the sometimes unpleasant intricacies of free speech with high levels of analysis, erudition and psionic energy.

This is not the case. We are dealing with a classic case of double-edged cerebral deficiency. You are too stupid on the one hand to have recognized the impact of the decoration, and too stupid on the other to reasonably argue a case for why what you did isn’t racist. Yes, you can, in fact, be too stupid to not be racist. Where does that leave us? It leaves us in that awesome space where dumbasses decide to dig in their heels over nothing more than their right to do stupid shit. No, seriously; it’s that simple. Ow, my balls.

Whatever. I’m sure Uhuru has already dispatched a team to bust that shit up.