Hi kids. What’s the haps on the craps? Long time no post, but I was run over by one of those goddamned power wheelchairs two weeks ago. You know, the ones you see all over downtown. I see about 20 different models a day, each filled with an individual more special than the next. Well, one finally took me out due to a busted “which side do I take” negotiation on the sidewalk.

The physical injuries have now healed, but the mental scars will remain. But you should see the other guy/girl… Still not sure which it was.

Anyway, enough of my problems. Today is an exciting day. Literally tens of Tampa Bayers are anxiously awaiting tonight’s inaugural Buccaneer preseason game against the Patriots.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not a hater of mainstream American sports. Sure, my enthusiasm for our local NFL franchise fades several notches with each inept performance (that’s a shitload of notches), but I still get chills when I think about any time we’ve ever beaten Philadelphia.

That’s right, Tampions. I said “we.” Tampa may be the confident yet loudmouthed older brother which serves as the home of two championship-winning sports franchises, and St. Petersburg may be the the gay but better dressed younger brother who has a weak-ass baseball team: But neither the Bucs or the Lighting would have had so much success without the support of fans from across the Bay in ‘da Burg.

Actually, I’m just talking out of my butt.

But maybe the Satan Rays would have better attendance if Tampions would stop complaining about the long drive and just suck it up. Burgers don’t complain about the hassle of getting to Raymond James or the St. Pete Times forum, do they? Granted, the Rays and baseball totally suck. Then again, the Bucs have been tanking for more of their existence.

Surely there must be some folks in Tampa who actually like bad baseball. God knows they like loads of other absurd shit.