These go to 11.

It’s just come to my attention that the Environmental Protection Agency has declared today’s UV Index for St. Petersburg as an off-the-charts 11+.

As a public service to our readers, please heed the following warning: Don’t walk around outside naked. Not only will it increase your likelihood of skin cancer, cataracts, and premature aging, but you’ll probably get your ass kicked by a bunch of rednecks.