I’ve long held the belief that political satire is officially redundant, but every so often a story grabs me by the face, slaps me and calls me Sally.

You see, some Republican candidates are having trouble with the format that CNN and YouTube used in this week’s Democratic debate — a format that I originally thought was going to tank but that kinda actually redeemed itself in the end. Further, I’ve been looking forward to seeing how the GOP candidates will handle the same kind of quirky, honest, never-dared-ask questions from all those kooky kids with webcams.

Oh yeah, and I’m also looking forward to it because it’s happening right down the street at Mahaffey on September 17. I can taste the molotov cocktails already.

Well hold now son, time for a reality check.

As of now, only two Republicans have said they’ll participate — McCain and Ron Paul. And we already know that Giuliani won’t be there due to a “scheduling conflict.” Which, of course, I believe.

What’s the deal then?

ZOMG SNOWMAN TERRISTS!!11

Apparently, a question from the Democratic debate about global warming, which came from a snowman and his smaller snowman son, is freaking these guys the fuck out.

John McCain, no shit, said this:

To have a question from a snowman is not frankly appropriate for a presidential debate.

Goddamned communist snowman is frankly more like it. Mitt Romney, you’re shitting me, joined in with:

I think the presidency ought to be held at a higher level than having to answer questions from a snowman.

That’s right! The president answers to fucking no one! Not even Frosty or any other cute little children’s characters. Fuck you too, Santa!

In this dangerous era of terrorism and war, can we really trust our country’s security to grown men who are afraid of snowmen? Don’t be an asshole. Vote Democratic. I’m The Splog and I approved this message, bitches.

Meh.