Man, after reading this story about a Pinellas Park public works technician nearly getting fired over “raunchy” videos on a shock jock’s Web site, I’m getting a little nervous. I carefully omitted huge chunks of my previous career as a “specialty” porn star when applying for my current job, hoping that it would never come up again (if you know what I mean, ZING!). I suppose I can rest comfortably knowing that only 99.9% of my specialty work can be found online. Good luck finding those obscure short run German Betamax tapes!

Let me take just a moment to reiterate my hate of morning/shock jock/assmonkey DJs. Yes, I’m talking to you MJ Kelli and Bubba the Love Sponge. Fuck you both. Just because America happens to be filled with complete idiots that are somehow entertained by your oh so intelligent and thought provoking brand of journalism doesn’t mean that God is intentionally preventing a catastrophic death for you. No, no, he is instead waiting for just the right moment to send you out the way you deserve, you know, like in a Yahtzee knife fight.