Holy crap. I used to think tampabay.com sucked, but now they’re linking to videos of people dying? Rad. I have been searching YouTube incessantly for golf prodigy’s mom’s deaths and came up empty handed, fortunately now my search is over. Oh, and that explosion story sounds pretty sweet, let’s take a closer look at that.

Haha, that shit sucks. Get it? An explosion in a poo factory. So not only did those dudes get injured, they got shit all over them. Again, that shit sucks. Only in Tampa.

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…and apparently he is fucking PISSED, or at least that is what our friends at St. Pete for Peace thought.

On Sunday, January 7, 2007, approximately 70 people took to the street in front of Mayor Rick Baker’s church to protest the mayor’s decision to shut down “Coming Up” Tent City.

The handling of the entire Tent City debacle was a shame, and it certainly looks like Baker had a lot to do with it, which sucks some serious balls. But, I can’t help but think Jesus is chilling in some paradise right now thinking “stupid assholes, you don’t picket a guy at his place of worship, haven’t you been listening to anything my Dad has been saying?!”

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St. Petersburg Times
May 25, 2007

Pinellas County sheriff’s deputies arrested seven dancers from an adult nightclub in unincorporated Pinellas County on Wednesday, charging them each with one count of being nude in a place that serves alcohol. They also cited the manager of the Vegas Show Girls club, Jonathan Bell, 36, of Pinellas Park, on a charge of allowing a prohibited activity in a place serving alcohol.

Um, what?! The cops went to a strip club and arrested strippers for stripping? What the hell is wrong with this world?!

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Yeah, that’s right dude, I’m calling you out. You, the asshole with the suit you probably bought at TJ Maxx, the attitude, the delusions of granduer. Today is your day.

You work at a bar that SUCKS BALLS. The ony people that frequent that place are douchetools that can’t let go of their days in the frat and their incredible plastic girlfriends. And you know what? Neither of those types of folks needs a fucking doorman. They are completely capable of opening the door.

I’m tired of seeing you mad dog me from you stupid ass stool. I’m tired of watching you pretend to yourself that some big important person just walked in and handed you a benjamin for letting them ahead of the line. YOU WORK AT THE FUCKING BISHOP. THE LAST BAR IN TOWN THAT NEEDS A GODDAMN DOORMAN IS THE FUCKING BISHOP.

Update: I’ve heard that you’ve been let go, and really, I’m pretty torn up over this fact. But, I sleep well knowing that this city has several more fine establishments that you can protect, perched stoically atop your vinyl stool. Hell, I think the Rare Olive may be hiring.

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